Diana is now divorced! Now its only my divorce holding things up before we can apply for her visa to come over permanently. I have all the paperwork ready to submit though so that will be done as soon as possible. Can't wait for her to be with me all the time

After more than a year on the market through the worst times to selling houses in decades, I have sold my house! Well its still got to go through yet, but I have agreed!

Diana went back to the states last weekend, so missing her horribly, but, we both agree she didn't go home this time, she went to were she currently lives, not where her home is. Here is her home.

Still enjoying my new job four months in, had a reasonable week where I was mostly on top of things.

Scary thought is trying to find a place near work I can afford to live in for the time being and packing and moving....not done it for over 12 years! so much accumulated crap!

Well, hmmmmmm. I got a bus and walked to the car rental place, got the car, dropped off ex wife and the kids as they helped get the car for me as I'm so broke. Drove to High Wycombe and did the interview, first response I've heard is positive, will find out more next week when they sit down and decide if I'm going to be employed by them or not.

THen raced down to Newport to hand in last minute documents to get my damaged passport renewed, got there just in time So it should arrive a couple of days before I fly to see Diana a week Saturday.

Have to hand the car back in tomorrow morning, which is poo, sigh, but with any luck, I'll have a vehicle more permanently by the time I'm back in the country....its looking good...and if it is....then maybe, just maybe.....I can really sort out the crippling debt I'm under.

Hi everyone, just to let you know the interview went well yesterday. They talked about second interviews, which is always a good sign. And I now know I have a second interview with the job I looked at last week and the agent said 'Its your job to lose' So I need to do some swatting and will know next week if I get it or not

Well I just lost my job yesterday, with that goes my company car. With me being broke and unable to afford to get even a cheap banger, things are looking bleak. Not hopeless as I have already had one interview that looks good, and there is another on Tuesday. I will let you know how that goes. But unless I get something soon, bankrupcy is the only option and I lose the house and everything in it.

Wish me luck and with fingers crossed I will survive.

Well it seems I may have a decision about whether I'm fired from my job next Friday. On the plus side I anticipated it and have a nice interview on Thursday.... We'll see what becomes of that.

Its looking very much like I am going to have to file for bankruptcy to have any chance of a life at all in the foreseeable future.

If I didn't have Diana contactable and my kids nearby, I think I would severely succumb to this situation, as it is I'm being very very antisocial and not liking being around people much. If you remember me maybe more than two years ago, my eyes sparkled more, my smile came to my lips more. When Diana is here, I still do, but, without her here, and all this on my head...I just don't know.

If I still have a job Friday, its no relief...because I am taking home much less than half the wages I was a year ago because of bureaucracy and bloodymindedness of anyone situation, the CSA started asking for 200 per month out of my wages, I couldn't pay, so they then started to take it out of my wages directly at a rate of 300 per month....about a fifth of my wages, and I was already struggling with debt that had been run up then.

I was struggling to get something sorted, time and lack of it and also not knowing what I could or couldn't do was making things very slow and hopeless.

Then in early January, my car broke. Over a thousand pounds worth of repairs that couldn't be done, so I had no alternative but to go onto the company car scheme, which meant my car allowance was removed, another 450 off my already depleted take home pay. I ask anyone to take a drop of over 750 pounds per month off their wages and be able to cope.

So if people ask me for favours right now after next week, I can't promise anything, because I don't know if I can do anything at all. My house if it sold last year like I wanted it to, would have helped, now its hardly going to cover the mortgage outstanding..still need to though, there is no light, no alternative to it.

To all my friends out there I've not really spoken to, its not that I don't want to, just I can't talk about this too much or it will bring it all to the surface and over the last two year, a lot of my friends have had to cope with my emotions and I say no more, they have their own lifes and struggles, and have to cope with their own stresses. Therefore, from this time onwards, do not expect me to talk to to come over or to go anywhere. This situation is of my own making and I have really no one close I can pop over should the worst happen and I lose any transport.

This is just a way of telling you why I have been reclusive and why I will probably still be reclusive.

I don't feel like being around anyone right now, and really want just to let the inevitable consequences take over and consume me.

I apologize to everyone who I know, and those that care, I am no longer going to be available,, not that many have wanted to contact me, but thats understandable.

bye